That phrase has gotta go.
Here I am, watching a mtvU video from from their Against Our Will campaign and “Rhea” tells us how about her boyfriend who would turn out to be her pimp.
“He made it seem like I was his girl, he was my man…” she says.
That made me pause and think.
I’ve heard that so often, but it never resonated with me before. Or maybe I just wasn’t as aware as I am today.
I see that phrase as a manifestation of our male dominated society. That phrase is the epitome of gender inequality. That phrase is a lot of things, but we, as an intellectual society, need to stop making it seem like something positive.
If I am with someone, as a grown (yikes) woman, I never want to feel like I am in some way inferior to my partner. My niece is a “girl.” She’s four and always has the cutest braids. When she’s my age, I don’t want her considering a potential partner as a man if he doesn’t give her that same respect regarding maturity.
It’s always used in some lovey-dovey, romantic scenario. But it isn’t very sweet to further some kind of inequality in your relationship.
Men dominate so much of society already. I think it’s this unconscious unbalancing that happens between genders that perpetuates this. I’ve heard this line in songs, movies, TV, real life, etc, but I’ve never thought much about the impact it could be having. Perhaps the effect is small, but we should think about what we’re putting out there when we say these kinds of things. If someone’s my man, I’d like to be his woman in return.